There are parts of childhood we look back on with warmth—bikes, ball games, summer evenings that seemed to stretch forever. And then there are the parts we remember not because we want to, but because they never really let go of us. For me, one of those memories comes wrapped in the quiet shame of a rubber sheet.

I was probably around six or seven years old when I first became aware that something wasn’t right. Night after night, I would wake up wet, confused, and immediately embarrassed—even though no one else was there. Bedwetting is a strange thing that way. It happens in the dark, in silence, but somehow it still feels public. Exposed. Like a secret you’re certain the world already knows.

My parents, to their credit, were trying to help. There was no anger, no punishment, no cruelty. But there was the rubber sheet. A practical solution, of course. Necessary. Logical. And yet, to a kid, it felt like a label sewn into the mattress—a quiet announcement that something was wrong with you.

You couldn’t see it unless you sat on the bed. And that’s the part that kept you on edge. Friends would come over. Someone would plop down on the bed. And suddenly there it was—that unmistakable crinkle. Not loud. Not dramatic. Just enough to send your heart racing while you scrambled for an explanation. “It’s nothing.” “It’s just the mattress.” You hoped they’d believe you. You hoped they wouldn’t ask.

Mornings were the hardest. It wasn’t every morning but for a young boy once is too many. Waking up already knowing what you’d find. The smell. The dampness. The realization that before the day could even begin, you had work to do. Clothes off. Shower. Sheets stripped. Laundry started. Bed remade. It felt like starting every morning behind schedule—not just practically, but emotionally. Before breakfast, before school, before anything else, you were reminded that you were different.

What made it worse was how long it went on. Bedwetting is common in younger kids, but mine lasted longer than it should have. Long enough that I noticed. Long enough that I worried about it. Long enough that I began to plan my life around it.

Sleepovers were the worst. Or rather, the idea of sleepovers. I usually found ways to avoid them, but when I couldn’t, I’d stay awake the entire night. Literally. I’d lie there, staring at the ceiling, listening to the breathing of other kids, afraid that sleep itself was the enemy. If I didn’t sleep, I couldn’t fail. If I didn’t fail, no one would know.

That kind of thinking doesn’t come from logic. It comes from fear.

My parents tried everything they knew to try. No drinks after dinner. Bathroom trips before bed. At one point, even setting an alarm for two or three in the morning so I could wake up and go. That might work on paper, but in real life it just meant broken sleep and groggy mornings. Sometimes I’d wake up to the alarm; sometimes I wouldn’t. Either way, the anxiety never really left.

What stayed with me most wasn’t the inconvenience—it was the embarrassment. The sense that this was something you should have control over by now. That everyone else did. That somehow, you didn’t.

I remember seeing a made-for-TV movie in 1976 directed by Michael Landon, titled “The Loneliest Runner”. It was loosely based on Landon’s own childhood. Teenager John Curtis (Lance Kerwin) had an embarrassing problem: He can't stop wetting his bed. His mother thinks the best way to discourage the habit is to publicly display his stained sheets from the window, so John gets in the habit of racing home from school to hide them before his friends can see. He soon finds that he's becoming quite good at running, and joins the school track team. John excels, overcoming his problem and eventually becomes an Olympic athlete. Michael Landon plays the adult John Curtis.

In real life, Michael Landon wet his bed until he was 14 and his mother, Peggy O'Neill, really did hang his sheets to dry outside of his bedroom window as punishment.  He had aspirations of becoming a javelin thrower in the Olympics after a standout high school career. Injuries during college kept this dream from happening and he later turned to acting.

Eventually, the bedwetting stopped for me. I don’t remember a single night when it ended. I just remember waking up one morning and realizing the bed was dry. Then another. And another. The relief wasn’t dramatic—it was profound. It felt like being released from a sentence you hadn’t known when you’d finish serving. Sometimes the things that humble us early become the things that quietly shape us later.

Even now, I couldn’t tell you exactly why it happened. Stress? Possibly. Household tension? Maybe. Genetics? Developmental timing? All of the above? I’ve since learned that bedwetting—what doctors call nocturnal enuresis—is far more common than people realize. Some children’s bladders mature more slowly. Some sleep so deeply that their brains don’t register the signal to wake up. Hormonal factors, stress, anxiety, and family history can all play a role. Most kids outgrow it naturally, often without ever knowing exactly why it started or stopped.

But kids don’t need explanations. They need reassurance.

Looking back, what I wish I could tell that younger version of myself is this: Nothing is wrong with you. You are not lazy. You are not broken. You are not behind. Your body is simply figuring things out in its own time.

And maybe that’s the real lesson that stayed with me. Empathy. The understanding that everyone carries something unseen. That embarrassment often hides behind silence. That shame thrives in secrecy—but fades in understanding.

If you’re a parent reading this, know this: how you handle moments like these matters more than the problem itself. Compassion lingers longer than solutions. Kids don’t remember the strategies nearly as much as they remember how safe—or unsafe—they felt.

And if you’re someone who lived through this too, you’re not alone. You never were. Many of us carried this quietly. We just didn’t talk about it.

I don’t think about the rubber sheet often anymore. But when I do, it’s not with bitterness. It’s with perspective. I t reminds me that growing up isn’t a straight line, that dignity is fragile, and that kindness—especially in the small, unspoken moments—can shape a life more than we ever realize.